hero's journey

it seems a bit crazy to say this but the reason i made this blog was to document my adventures in victoria. i was 18, just heading off to university, and i wanted to blog about it. and blog i did. oh how i blogged.

and now, i'm done in victoria. not done university, mind you. not a grad. but i'm done in victoria. after 5.5 years. and this blog has always been here. sometimes it's had a more prominent role than others. it went strong for a long time and then slowly faded, but it's always been in the back of mind. i have a million entries and a million more drafts that i began to type and then abandoned for whatever reason.

and now i am heading on my way. on to whatever journey is next for me. well, a practicum first. but i know that will be a journey too. and in my head i've been thinking of my life in terms of the hero's journey.

really. and now i shall begin to spill my guts.

1. the ordinary world. my life last semester and through the summer. i wasn't happy, hadn't been for a long time.
2. the call to adventure. realizing i didn't have to stay in victoria for my practicum. the initial falling apart of my relationship.
3. the refusal of the call. the "let's make it work" portion of the relationship, the idea of being on my own after so long of being an us was just not appealing.
4. meeting a mentor. not sure who my mentor is/was specifically, but i know it happened. i got the kick of confidence i needed and was ready to let go.
5. crossing the threshold. moving to kelowna?

yeah, it gets kind of fuzzy. i leave my ordinary world and enter this new world. i'm still in the early stages (there are twelve). this is ultra dorky, i realize, but hero's journeys are happening all the time. i think i'm in a different hero's journey with school, or a similar one but i'd have to use different reference points. but seriously, at some point i will return back to the ordinary world (though i don't think that means victoria specifically) with the elixir!

anyway, it is a lot a lot a lot for me. but the point is this:

WTF?!

how can this be? how can i be done with what i set out to do in victoria? what i set out to do was having amazing life experiences, obtain a b.ed. and learn to surf. two outta three ain't bad. i'm happy. i am excited. but also not terrified. having all this potential, all this unplanned and unorganized time freaks me out. granted, i do have a four month practicum that i will probably spend the majority of making grandiose life plans. that's my style. plus, i'm totally over this practicum, in my mind it's as good as done (BAD ATTITUDE!).

anyway, my apartment still needs A LOT more lovin' so that i can get my damage deposit back tomorrow. dishpan hands over here.

love,
your reluctant hero

things in victoria that make me wanna stay

i will add to this. see how it goes.

1. when i turn down memorial and all of a sudden i see the ocean
2. the sooke potholes
3. my little apartment
4. my morning bus ride, it follows the ocean for a ways and it is beautiful
5. being able to walk to cook street village for a coffee
6. enjoying that coffee oceanside
7. the restaurants (oh god, the restaurants)

- spinnaker's
- le petit saigon
- il terrazzo
- the king & thai
- pagliacci's

8. when you come down sinclair, to the top of cadboro bay hill, and you can see the ocean
9. the nice rainy days
10. free things on the side of the road
11. the bunnies
12. uvic campus, everyday.. i really love this place
13. that i am so close to even more beautiful places (tofino, gulf islands..)
14. using the coho horn to tell time
15. ol' one eye

five year plan

phewph.
jeffrey moved to kelowna a month early. i am no longer a cat lady. well, i guess i am, if you wanna get technical. i am gonna miss that little guy.

this is what's up.
five more weeks left in victoria.
mexico at christmas.
four month practicum.
and then who knows? i have a million ideas.

i'm going to start applying for jobs at international schools soon. they say to start applying in november but i don't have any of my certification done yet, so i've gotta look into that. plus i need reference letters from my current school, so i might wait until i get into my practicum and then ask the vp or my sponsor teacher to refer me. it's a confusing process.

but, mostly, i want to go to med school. i have been dreaming up this five year plan for myself. it goes like this.

2010
january-april: complete my four month practicum, graduate!
may-june: move to alberta and get a toc position
july-august: wander, jenna's wedding
september-: move overseas (argentina, i hope) to teach

2010-2012
teach overseas.

2012-2014
do pre-req's for med school.
write the mcat.
do my applications.

2014
start med school!

don't those numbers like 2013 look so crazy. who thought we'd live to see these days. class of 2018 baby.
is it really horrible that i would consider putting med school off a year, in this fantasy plan, if it meant i could graduate in an odd-numbered year?

sometimes i don't like having big plans like this. i like suprises, adventures! but this is just an idea. i have a million ideas. but this is sort of how i see things going. maybe midwifery school instead of med school. haven't made that decision yet. it would be a lot easier, but i think i'd prefer going for the whole shebang. that's more my style. all or none.

cat lady

this is what i bought at the grocery store today.

1 box of 100 calorie ice cream snack things.
1 bag of dry cat food.
3 packets of wet cat food.

i was standing in line and i saw it all laid out and hard to believe but yes, this is my life. it's no more "i'm gonna be a cat lady".. i have arrived.

also.
seriously try the oreo 100 calorie popsicle things. so good.

also.
nanowrimo is a no go. i didn't even have the heart to get started. it was like "okay, i have three assignments due tomorrow and a novel to write". priorities, people. i do have some.

nanowrimo

so, some people do movember. thankfully my body does not produce enough testosterone to let me be an active participant, so i am coming up with a new goal. national novel writing month. nanowrimo. i've known about it for years and years but never thought it was something i could do. i tend to be a victim of nagging self doubt. but, i've been having this problem lately. the problem of not achieving any goals i set. exhibit a: the royal victoria half marathon. 16km isn't bad, but it's not half of a marathon. exhibit b: my summer goal list (can be seen in an earlier entry). i slept in a tent one night, and that's as close as i got to checking off any goals on that list.

here i go. i won't post any of it up here, it's not mean to be an excellent piece of writing. but it'll get me writing again. maybe a load of crap but a load of crap is better than my only form of writing being emails to professors and a ton of homework. less than two more months of uvic coursework left! then a fourth month practicum which is like actually working but someone else is getting paid. i am less than sixth months away from my b.ed.! i will be teaching your children! don't say you haven't been warned.

londres

folks, i am leaving for london in less than 48 hours. my house is a complete disaster. okay, it's a one bedroom apartment, there can only be so much mess, but it is a bit over the top. the plan is to fly into london, hop on a bus out to hereford and meet up with pete and his family for a week of visiting / touring / adventuring. then pete and i have a couple of days to ourselves in london, which is the part of the trip i am really most excited for. i'll also (i hope! i'm not sure if it's all set up or not) get to see pete row in cambridge, which is unbelievably cool.

i've never been to england before. i spent 10 glorious days in greece when i was 16, but that's as much of europe as i've seen. i'm excited to visit the natural history museum, see the changing of the guards, and eat lots and lots of curries. hopefully we'll get to see a show, get shittered with my friend jamie, and and spend hours just wandering through london and all the places that we visit with pete's family. there is also supposed to be a trip to wales squished in at some point, but i don't want to get my hopes up so i'm not counting on it. but that would be very cool!

so that's the news. lots of work, lots of running, a little bit of the 30 day shred (this will be tackled in its entirety during the month of august), and a lot of baking. i love baking. i want to learn to love cooking, i'll work on it, but baking is just so great. it's so easy to have the right ingredients on hand (flour? check. eggs? check. butter? check. sugar? check.) i've found what i believe is the best chocolate chip cookie recipe. period. i've made crumbles and pies and muffins and cakes.. and i haven't even gained a pound! okay, so the real reason i've decided to run this stupid half marathon is so that i can run off all these extra calories. haha.

summer goals, i just love them. i realize i haven't crossed a single goal off of my summer to do list from an earlier entry, but there is still a month and a half of this summer left. i have a time.

hair no more

I did it! Took long enough, eh? I made the appointment kind of last minute, dragged Katelyn out for a longhair photoshoot at Willows beach, and then marched over to the salon next door to get it chopped off. Now my ponytail is sitting in an envelope, waiting to be donated.

I'm pretty happy with it. I feel a little bit dorky when I see myself, but the idea of it nice. It just has to grow on me (ha! ha!).

mile-ionnaire

So, I signed myself up for an airmiles card. Anyone who knows me knows that this is a problem, because I have such an addictive personality. I've managed to avoid the drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc. that most people associate with addictive personality, but that's because I've found replacements. Let's see. Remember those endless days of first year playing Halo 2, then Mario Party? There's a good example. Last summer I become obsessed with keeping a budgeting journal of every single penny I earned/spent/saved. Now, there is airmiles. My standard internet checking routine involves the Blue Jays website (my homepage), my UVic email, then my airmiles page. Collecting airmiles is a slow process and it takes a while for your balance to get updated, so instead I look at the different current coupons and offers. I even immerse myself in the Safeway flier to see if there are any good airmiles offers in there. Not sure how long this will last, but I have spent many an hour debating about whether or not to sign up for an Airmiles American Express (NO! I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT DO THIS!) and getting thisclose to applying. I'll start buying things that I don't need just to get a few more points. I know I will. Just throw a few more things in my basket so that I can get that extra point. But it's worse than that! I've started entering draws and stuff online. Like giveaways. I know that the odds of me winning are very very slim, but what's the harm in signing up, right?


I think that this has been partly induced by the recent poverty I've found myself in. I thought for sure the recession would just pass me by, I mean I have a good job, I live in a good city, all that. But no, it has found it's way to me. Shifts at work have gotten extremely cut back and I'm just not making ends meet.. so I need to find free things! I keep telling myself "Okay Taryn, just go about your every day life and if you can use your airmiles card, great, but it's not a good program if you find excuses to use it." Example, I was going to forego my annual eye exam (they'll make me have a contact fitting and that costs an extra $60) and just order my contacts online and save a few bucks. But my eye place takes airmiles. And I could get an extra 120 airmiles on top of what I get from actually buying my contacts. I'm in a serious dilemma about this.


I'm sure this will pass once something new comes along. I'm hoping this new thing will be a Nintendo DSi (it's my birthday soon, but let's keep it hush hush). But I'd also like it to be something like running, eating freakishly healthy.. Last summer I got a pedometer and made sure I walked my 10000 steps every day until I lost it in Peru. Sometimes this addictive personality is a good thing. And I usually have a few things going on at once. I definitely jump right into things and then quickly get over them so hopefully that is the case. Then my airmiles will be left to quietly accumulate until I have enough to get a flight out to Peru so I can reunite with my little ninos (I miss them so much it aches).

summertime and the livin's easy

the annual summer to do list

1. sleep under the stars
2. do as much shopping as possible at the farmer's market
3. wear sunscreen every day
4. pay off my credit card debt
5. reconnect with my longboard
6. learn to use my camera in manual mode
7. bake a pie from scratch
8. walk/bike my little heart out
9. finally explore the juan de fuca trails and beaches
10. roast marshmallows

sunshine days

it has been outstanding around here. on monday pete and i spent the afternoon having a makeshift picnic at beacon hill park, subway and slurpees and sunshine. i generally don't do alliterations, but sometimes i just have to make an exception. on tuesday kates and i did our laundry and had snacks on the patio at the pub and then baked cookies (zucchini chocolate chip, who'da thunk they'd be so delicious?). the only downside of all this springtime bliss has been the insane allergies. and the fact that you just can't count on continuous days of sunshine in crazy victoria. i figure that it doesn't really matter where you live in canada, the weather is crazy everywhere. little moments of beauty surrounded by days of mucky yuck. spring weather is a real trickster.

cruelest month

It's officially april but you would never ever know it. Rain, wind, snow, whatever. I thought today would be nice because it was a little bit sunny this morning, but alas, pissing rain all afternoon/evening. The bottom of my jeans are caked in mud so I can't wear them for the 189th time in a row.



Look at the weird trees on the right. Guess they don't like the powerlines or something.

Wisdom teeth recovery went fairly well, if you consider two drysockets well. I have to go every few days and get this gauze put in the holes. The gauze is soaked in clove oil and let me just say that my breath smells amazing for the whole day after. Haha. As if. I had to get it done on Tuesday and then I went to meet a bunch of Pete's friends from rowing and they probably thought I was a big snob because I was too embarrassed to talk. Would I rather them think I am a snob or think I have halitosis? The answer is clear.



Also. We have lived in May Lodge for a year already. If I was cool I would put before and after photos like look how great it is our little home, but despite outward appearance, we're students at heart. Every piece of furniture has stayed in the same spot it got set down on the day we moved in. No joke. Some of it works, some of it doesn't, neither of us care enough to fix it. Plus the dust, oh the dust, I live by a "if you don't notice it that often, it's not really there" philosophy. But I love it, I'm just not quite the housewife and/or clean freak that I aspire to being.

happy spring!

(I actually just posted this to my class blog and then had a freak out attack as I scrambled to delete it. Whoops.)

I'm sitting here with ice packs tied to my face alfafa-style and eating a mashed up cupcake with a spoon. Wisdom teeth surgery wasn't the big deal that I was expecting. It's possible that I am pushing it a little bit but I don't feel content just laying on the couch / in bed with a book or the tv or whatever. Normally that is my dream come true but suddenly when it is required and not just an option, I want to get up and go.

Pete offered to make the spring cupcakes so we spent the afternoon in the kitchen, him stirring up a bowl of icing and making my taste test it, me sitting with my crossword dreaming of lamb curry. Cupcakes are great, but I need protein, people. I've been eating apple sauce, pudding, yogurt and washing it all down with a few different pain killers. I can't open my mouth more than an inch wide and sudden movements make my face feel like it will explode. Other than that. No really, not that bad.

I feel like I should say something about the first day of spring but there isn't much to say. The few movements that I have been outside it has been raining horizontally at me. The sun is trying to shine though and I can randomly hear birds which makes it feel nice. I don't know. I'm just putting off my celebration of the season until I can enjoy it as it should be enjoyed, with grilled cheese sandwiches and slurpees (through a straw!).

transition

So I tried to start this new blog but I don't like it so I'll transfer that stuff over here. It's a new age of taryntothemax folks, and it is gonna be fun.

spring?

The weather out here has been absolutely crazy. All in one day it’s sun, rain, snow, wind, sun again. I still feel okay about it though. When I look out my window I can see the cherry blossoms just starting to open up and I remember that spring will be here soon enough.

I’m still having a near-anxiety attack every two hours or so about having to get my wisdom teeth out. A new issue has presented itself in the forefront of this anxiety. What about the cupcakes?! Okay. Every spring since I was in Grade 12 I have made cupcakes on the first day of spring. Then I dole them out to my friends and family and the whole batch is gone within about an hour. But the first day of spring is March 20 and, from what I’ve heard, I will be a big hamsterface spending the whole day on the couch eating ice cream and popping pills. This is a serious problem. Is it okay to delay the first day of spring? Should I have the first day of spring early? Should I skip it this year? Postpone it until summer starts?

lazyyy days

This is more or less how today has gone. You can’t see the disaster that consumes this whole apartment in these pictures. Something about being in school and being two people in a small space means that there is always “housework” but it never gets done. Oh well, no complaints. Berries are popping all over the grocery store (although they’re not local so I’m trying my hardest to avoid them, not doing very well on that!) and it’s almost farmer’s market season and I’m working on cutting out added sugars (not doing very well on that either!) and becoming a conscious consumer.. or something. I don’t have it quite figured out yet, what I’m going for. Being healthy, being in tune with my body and what I put in it and how I use it. Lots of things like that. I’ll let you know how that goes.

oh say can you see my eyes / 'cause if you can then my hair's too short

oh gosh. i suck at this.

i can’t even figure out how to put a picture on here. jeez. well, i kind of figured it out but it rotated it and man. i am just not having any luck. oh well. what is new around here.

i am thinking that i am ready to cut all this goony long hair off. i think it may be at the point where it is just too long. i am probably more nervous about this than i am about having my wisdom teeth out. and i am pretty fucking nervous about that. i am pretty sure that if i had to make a list of my top five fears/dislikes, it would go as follows.

1. rats
2. the dentist (i am not phobized about it but it gives me the creeps, for sure)
3. airplanes (i play it cool but i am secretly ohshitting the whole time)
okay, well i can only think of those three right now, but there’s probably lots more. i am a pretty big wimp. yeah, so anyway. i have to get my wisdom teeth taken out on march 19 and i am only doing it because the dentist said i could be put under. if he wanted to do it while i was awake i would have walked right out of the office. it gives me the creeps just to think about it. that tugging pressure feeling and hearing the drills and the smell/taste of it. eww i am feeling very squeamish right now.
(edit: i am also very scared of things in the water and dark water.)

anyway, my point is that getting my haircut will cause me no physical pain or anything, but i am almost as scared to get it cut as i am to get my wisdom teeth out. that is a lot of fear! i mean, a trim is okay but i think i need to do something drastic. long enough so it can still go in a ponytail, short enough so that i don’t dread having showers because it means i’ll have to brush my hair afterwards. no joke, the length of my hair is the number one reason i don’t (like to) shower. plus it would mean that there wouldn’t be long hairs infesting every nook and cranny of everything i own. i have pulled my long hairs out of pete’s bumcrack!

okay. i’ll keep you updated on how it all goes down. i think it will probably be one of those walkdownthestreetandintothesalon kind of moments and if it comes together i’ll imagine it was meant to be and if it doesn’t come together i’ll be one of those old ladies with hair down to the ground who has to go on the maury show because i’ll be under such severe emotional stress at the thought of being separated from it. it will be a separate entity, like my baby or something.

oh. one more thing!



i won on my very first cup! a donut no less! if i were to make a top five list of things i love about being canadian, roll up the rim would be right up there. although, i think they need to come up with some alternate plan to promote the use of personal mugs. environmental sustainability, folks.

playin' it cool

what am i doing? man i suck at blogging.

lately i’ve just been doing this thing where i pretend that i actually am a domestic goddess instead of just a lazy sack of shit, which is actually the truth. so i’ve been cleaning and baking and cooking and taking photos and organizing papers and sweeping and all the other stuff that i actually hate. but here is the trick. i don’t hate it! i like it! i like when my kitchen is clean and there are cookies and maybe some flowers and a cat sitting on the window sill. that is a nice thing. and a pot of coffee, of course.

there is this 1-800 number that has been calling us a million times a day for the past million days. really, can it be important if it’s from a 1-800 number? i don’t believe so. plus i now have a battle with that 1-800 number and refuse to answer it. anyway, it’s pretty damn annoying. i always get excited for a real phone call from, i don’t know, a friend. and it’s always that stupid 1-800 guy. it’s definitely a scam because otherwise they could just leave a message. duh.



it’s beautiful here. p is gone for the weekend so i’ll be flying solo. this means that every night, without fail, i will have the apartment lit up like a christmas tree and i will turn each light off as i make my way towards my bed and finish the whole thing off with a grand leap into my bed. oh yes, this is after investigating all the closets and crannies where someone/thing could possibly be hiding. but i do this discreetly because i don’t want to let them know i am on to them. if i find someone/thing, i will casually just “go out” and then do whatever freaking out is necessary. but i’ll play it cool at first. you know me.

happy valentine's day!

what a better was to start off this new blog than by honoring the third best holiday of the year (second only to june 3rd and march 21st)? there is none, i tell ya. right now i am sitting in the dark smelling my cat’s gross wet food (his valentine’s day treat) and waiting for my prince charming. haha. just kidding. pete should be home soon though.



and i think he might be bringing flowers!