hero's journey

it seems a bit crazy to say this but the reason i made this blog was to document my adventures in victoria. i was 18, just heading off to university, and i wanted to blog about it. and blog i did. oh how i blogged.

and now, i'm done in victoria. not done university, mind you. not a grad. but i'm done in victoria. after 5.5 years. and this blog has always been here. sometimes it's had a more prominent role than others. it went strong for a long time and then slowly faded, but it's always been in the back of mind. i have a million entries and a million more drafts that i began to type and then abandoned for whatever reason.

and now i am heading on my way. on to whatever journey is next for me. well, a practicum first. but i know that will be a journey too. and in my head i've been thinking of my life in terms of the hero's journey.

really. and now i shall begin to spill my guts.

1. the ordinary world. my life last semester and through the summer. i wasn't happy, hadn't been for a long time.
2. the call to adventure. realizing i didn't have to stay in victoria for my practicum. the initial falling apart of my relationship.
3. the refusal of the call. the "let's make it work" portion of the relationship, the idea of being on my own after so long of being an us was just not appealing.
4. meeting a mentor. not sure who my mentor is/was specifically, but i know it happened. i got the kick of confidence i needed and was ready to let go.
5. crossing the threshold. moving to kelowna?

yeah, it gets kind of fuzzy. i leave my ordinary world and enter this new world. i'm still in the early stages (there are twelve). this is ultra dorky, i realize, but hero's journeys are happening all the time. i think i'm in a different hero's journey with school, or a similar one but i'd have to use different reference points. but seriously, at some point i will return back to the ordinary world (though i don't think that means victoria specifically) with the elixir!

anyway, it is a lot a lot a lot for me. but the point is this:

WTF?!

how can this be? how can i be done with what i set out to do in victoria? what i set out to do was having amazing life experiences, obtain a b.ed. and learn to surf. two outta three ain't bad. i'm happy. i am excited. but also not terrified. having all this potential, all this unplanned and unorganized time freaks me out. granted, i do have a four month practicum that i will probably spend the majority of making grandiose life plans. that's my style. plus, i'm totally over this practicum, in my mind it's as good as done (BAD ATTITUDE!).

anyway, my apartment still needs A LOT more lovin' so that i can get my damage deposit back tomorrow. dishpan hands over here.

love,
your reluctant hero